Comfort zone

Growing up as an introvert person I usually avoid talking to others and a fear of public speaking. The fear of public speaking and coming up to someone and talking is very uncommon for me, most of the time people will think that Im depressed in some way, which is totally understandable. This started when I was young and still live in Vietnam, when going around the neighborhood, people would compliment you differently sometime. In Vietnam people usually compliment babies or young kids like ugly because they believe that when you compliment them with nice language the baby will get a bad spirit or a curse that when they grow up they will not be pretty, so people usually compliment you this but they actually mean that but sometime that is what they mean. So when I go with my mom to the market my mom usually spots me at some stand and talks to the seller and sometimes the seller would compliment me by calling me ugly , that time I was 4 where I knew what the word meant so I took it personally. From then on I felt very insecure about myself, but that feeling was kind of taken away when I was in elementary school when I met a lot of friends and they are nice to me so it helps me to get out of it.

Then when I was 10 years old, my family and I moved to the U.S., and when I go to school my insecurities in me are back because even though I have learned English before I came to the U.S. but when I go to school everything that I have learned is very different. So I did not really understand anything that everyone was saying and to my surprise the school did not even put me into a learning English class. Good thing that there was another girl in the class that was also Vietnamese so the school and the teacher were putting us together so she could help me with classes. Thats helped me so much throughout my first years being in the U.S. However, the pandemic happened where everyone is online school and staying at home for a year. I lost my communication skills, and I was scared of talking to people and public speaking because I worry that I will make mistakes in explaining things, mispronouncing, or cannot pronounce words in public. Thats what freaked me out because I was scared that people were going to judge me for the way that I say and talk, so thats started to build the insecurities of talking with others and public speaking.

In class I was always scared that the teacher was going to call on me, I was just scared to talk in class when everyone would likely look at me, it made me anxious. Whenever I got called on I would froze like a stone and not know what to say, my heart beat was rising rapidly, my voice was shaking, and my hands were sweating. That time I just wished that no one would call on me anymore. But there is also one thing that is my worst night mare ever is presenting and public speaking especially to my classmate. I usually avoid as much as I could, like when I have to do a project with someone else I would likely do all the so my partners would present for me. I know it is really bad that I pretty much avoid my problem to the absolute maximum, because I know it does not actually help my case.

However, for my high school years I tried to fix my problem and I want to step out of my comfort zone. Since I dont want to keep avoiding the situations and be affected by it. During my first year of high school, I did a couple of projects that I feel like helped me develop my speaking skills, but I still dont have the confidence. When I present my voice is shaking and worried, where I just want to get it over with already. Over time, when I have done many presentations and talked in front of the class, its helped me build my confidence little by little and Im not scared of teachers calling on me anymore. My sophomore year I got a chance to go to a Spanish conference even though I just learned Spanish but the teacher asked me if I wanted to do it because there were not enough people that were supposed to go to the conference. So I joined and went to the conference. That was a big move for me, since I basically just learned Spanish and have no clue what I should do and what I am doing. But I know that I should and can do this, so I practice Spanish with my teacher and friends who are also going to the conference with me. I remember that I practiced in the morning before class started, during lunch, and I even practiced when we were going to the conference place. The night before the competition happened I was nervous, but I said to myself that I could do this and I practiced almost the whole night. Before I stepped into the room and saw other competitors and had to talk in front of the judge in Spanish I got so nervous and anxious. But after I did it, it turned out better than I ever expected, I feel very accomplished. I know that I have tried something that my old self could never have thought to do.

Anyways, high school for me is a place that I stepped out of my comfort zone to set myself for things that I think I would never do before.